Hello All,
The post before you now has been constructed over several days. The dates before you show the progression. It is not rated G. Enjoy...
3/11/10
As I sit to write this entry my life has been put, again, into a new perspective. I started a job at the Terminal last night, a local restaurant modeled after an Irish pub (with colorful beer ta-boot). I wondered to myself what the beer tasted like and how it would feel going down my throat, while my phone vibrated with 6 calls. A friend of ours was found unconscious yesterday by his parents. He OD-ed. Life support has now been pulled and he is no longer with us. For that I am tremendously saddened and humbled.
Its crazy that even with so many wonderful things going on in my life I can still be so self-pitiful to not see, appreciate, and most importantly, trust it. Insane even. I now have more evidence that my thoughts and feelings are just not the best thing out there. And I can say that because his life was just fine (just fine) and he would have seen it if he would only have given himself a chance to. So is life, so are humans, and the Tragedy continues.
The paint brushes of my life have been large and broad over the last two weeks. Karen has moved down (Graham and William did a wonderful job moving her stuff and Graham left some wonderful tire tracks in our yard--Thanks Graham). I have never lived with a significant other. Really I have barely made it past 4 months in a relationship, so the fact that Karen and I are now at eight months and have not even "broken up" yet is quite a feat (and good for the baby-wink)
We are here and have been adjusting. I kept my dog Ellie and Karen brought her two cats down (Barenowski [real name Baren] and Sissy [real name Luthien]) (Anyone know the references?). Every day there are multiple stare downs and they are continually getting better with each other. If you know Ellie then you know how totally obsessed she gets with things. The poor cats get no breaks at all. Ellie is incessantly trying to figure out what they are and how she can convince them to play with her. Baren hisses and smacks (without claws out---progress) and I think sissy really likes it.
Our back yard is an acre. Turns out, where we live in East Ridge, is the drain pipe of all Chattanooga. Hence, our yard is a bog. Awesome.
3/15/2010
Entry from Journal: "Holy fuck me. I am flipping. Fuck. Goddamn East Ridge can lick my sac. Am I really ready for this? Tears."
3/19/2010
This brings me to today. It is now three in the morning and Karen and I are laying in bed. We have just had one of the most care free days of the past week and a half. Of course, me telling you all the insides of our relationship just caused a little turmoil (every time), but for some reason I really think it is worth it. To chronicle the ups and downs and to live out loud.
Karen and I have gone from a part time, week on-week off relationship to a full time, wake up and go to sleep together, domestic relationship. And from what I can tell, we are right in the middle of a major transition. It is, again from what I can tell, going to be one the hardest and most rewarding things that I have ever done.
The fact is there has been soooooooo much change for both of us. Karen the most. She has moved to a new town, no daily routine, new people, new house, lives with a dog, and has to deal with me. And let me just say that I have tons of growing up to do. I am not selfless. I do not see dishes sitting on the table and I do not mind procrastinating.
The best thing that I have done for Karen and myself, is read the chapter to Dads in "What to Expect When Expecting". It provided me some perspective and some guidance. Right now Karen and are feeling some normalcy. I spent the night finally organizing the garage and thus continuing to finalize our "nesting". And it is that that I will leave you with. In conclusion: I will continue to defend the value of my internet ramblings because I know that there is value in shared experience.
